Karen Galloro (pictured right) remembers the moments the nurses suggested palliative treatments for her daughter Michelle: “It was like a
nightmare was unfolding in front of us.”
Michelle’s journey with colorectal cancer initially appeared to be improving. But extreme pain landed her back in the hospital in late February of 2023. A couple of weeks later doctors discovered a tumour, and the following day, the hospital’s palliative care team had been called in to discuss next steps. “Everything just seemed to happen so fast,” Karen recalls.
Michelle was only 47. Before her illness, she had been working as a Personal Support Worker at Fairhaven Nursing Home. She loved animals and was very artistic. Painting, pottery, beadwork, and photography were only a few of the mediums she worked in. Karen still cherishes many of Michelle’s creations at home: a needlepoint of a child picking up seashells along the shore, and colourful wine glasses hand-painted with dragonflies (Karen’s favourite), among other treasures. She was a natural and generous caregiver, often stepping in to help support Katie, her younger sister who lives with cerebral palsy and cognitive disabilities. “She had a lot of compassion for people,” says Karen.
Karen and Michelle decided to take a tour of Hospice Peterborough. “Ijust found hospice was so welcoming, and so helpful.” Michelle and Karen both met with Hospice’s Supportive Care Counsellors to help them process the diagnosis. “We were both on a journey.”
This wasn’t Karen’s first experience with Hospice. Back in 2008, she had attended grief groups following the deaths of her parents. The group had offered tremendous support. But letting go of her daughter’s life was much different.
When Michelle decided it was time to make her transition to Hospice Peterborough, she was set up in a beautiful room. Though it wasn’t home, the custodian hung up a beloved painting of Michelle on the wall making it all feel a little more familiar.
Michelle maintained her signature sense of humour throughout, and she didn’t want to talk about dying. She had many visitors. Karen and her husband, Paul, brought in her favourite beverages. Karen appreciated the many quiet places at Hospice to sit and process what she was going through.
Michelle’s stay at Hospice lasted about two weeks. Karen will never forget the Saturday when Michelle started to show signs of serious decline, “I sat with her all day, I wasn’t going to leave her.”
After a pizza dinner with her family, Karen prepared to stay the night with Michelle, on cot in her bedroom. She slept for a few hours and then remembers suddenly waking up. Karen immediately knew something had shifted: “I noticed there had been a change in Michelle’s breathing.” Michelle died within the hour.
“I just found hospice was so welcoming, and so helpful.” The following moments were tough: “You just kind of move around like an automated machine, doing the things you have to do.”
Michelle chose “I’m Leaving on a Jet plane,” by Jem and Bjork for her Honour Guard song. Neighbours, family, friends, and staff showed up for the ceremony, despite it being a Sunday. Karen was moved by the people who came to honour Michelle.
“I learned a lot from Michelle,” Karen says, “I learned that she was a very strong person. She bore her suffering and her dying with grace which I was blown away by. She was what you saw. She tried to live as much as she could.”
Summarizing her family’s time receiving hospice support, Karen shares: “I would have to say my experience with hospice was complete, unbelievable support. All through, right from our first visit. They answered our questions, they were kind to show us around, they hooked us up with Supportive Care Counsellors. While Michelle was here, it was nice to have a friendly smile when you walk in, and everybody was kind and understanding. I had a really good experience.”
Shortly after Michelle’s death, Karen was contacted by Hospice’s intake team about joining Grief Recovery Groups. Though she admits it can be painful, she continues to receive support two years later. Karen adds: “I’ve talked to some people who have this attitude of ‘you’re pretty well done when you go there.’ I don’t understand that personally. I see this as a beautiful option for people. It’s a welcoming, comforting, humane place to come.“