By: A Hospice Client
My entire life changed four years ago. Since that tragic day, I’ve had an extremely difficult time sorting through so many emotions – blame, anger, confusion, crippling sadness – and struggling to answer the question WHY? Why me? Why us? Why this? But this past year, changes have started as I’ve adjusted my questions to what now? Where do we go from here? How can I squeeze something positive from something so horrible? How can I honour the life that was lost? I’ve discovered that these answers don’t come overnight – and some of them will never be answered entirely. But I’m realizing that I have to believe that it’s possible to carry-on and to grow as a person, life doesn’t stop for my grief. If I can enlighten even one person to be more positive when looking at and hopefully living their lives, then I feel there is hope – for me, for us, for others.
Firstly, be grateful – cherish what you have even in your grief. Remember that all of us have something that someone else mourns the loss of. Also, take a look at your priorities – it’s not about having the best of everything; it’s about making the best of everything you have.
Second, the loss will never go away but you don’t have to disappear with it. Choose to make positive changes in yourself, in your actions, in your life. By doing this, you honour the life that was lived.
I would like to leave you with one final thought, “it doesn’t have to be the end!” Your loved one’s physical life may be over, leaving sorrow, sadness and an empty space in our lives, but in our hearts, minds, and memories they are still abundantly full and gladly so. It is only in our surviving that we can choose to share their gifts with others as we were so very lucky to be witness to their greatness. You are never alone in your struggles. Seek out the help and get through with the empathy of others. And in doing that, share pieces of the person you lost…for they may be gone, but they will NEVER be forgotten!
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This fall, a number of grief and bereavement services will be offered at Hospice Peterborough, including Children and Teen Grief Groups, Grief Recovery Groups for Adults (levels one through three), a Lunch Group for the Recently Bereaved and the Bereaved Parents Support Group. One-on-one grief counselling is also available. For a complete, listing of our fall program and service offerings, please check out our calendar of events.