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Heeney House lower level ceiling/main level floorboards

Workers are moving fast at the site these past few days. For the Heeney House community programming area, the ceiling for the lower level/floorboards for the main level are now being installed. On the residence side, workers are busy building a second concrete wall – hard to see because they are working under large orange tarps to keep cement warm as it dries. See photos below – one via our new Nexicom-sponsored site cam (the old cam was struck by lightening!): [showhide type=”post”]

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Main level taking shape

The first photo below is taken from where the front entrance to the new Care Centre will be (from London Street looking south). The wooden framing to the right is the lower level admin offices and programming rooms. Straight ahead the first rectangular concrete shape is the main stairwell (about middle of photo).[showhide type=”post”] The slightly smaller rectangular shape beyond that is the elevator shaft. The concrete wall being built to the left (east) is starting to show the height of the main level. It will be a completely interior wall. The doorway in the concrete wall is the door to the dirty utility room in the residence (e.g. holding area for dirty laundry and cleaning equipment). If you were to walk through the doorway as shown, you would be walking out of the utility room and into the main residence hallway that leads to six of the ten private bedrooms. Great to see workers taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather!

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Foundation in-filling

After a holiday season and January that saw record cold temperatures, the recent warmer weather has allowed work to continue. Today the sun managed to peak through the clouds after many days of rain and fog.

The following two photos can be compared to the previous blog post. Notice how much of the foundation has been in-filled with gravel. Also, workers have laid concrete cinder blocks atop some of the formed concrete foundation. [showhide type=”post”]

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DIEalogues

Last fall, the first Hospice Peterborough DIEalouges were hosted at Lett Architect Studio. These sessions were about opening up a conversation about death and dying to the community. During one of these sessions a question was posed to the attendees: If you could write a note now to the people who will be responsible for your non-medical care at the end of your life, what things would you want them to know?

It was one of four questions that participants in the DIEalogues could choose from and respond to. After spending some time reflecting personally on this question, there was discussion with others. Then following a period of time, people were offered the chance to talk with the whole group.

One woman spoke about this incredible moment of revelation – that she had never thought about what she wanted her dying to look like if she had the choice. More than that, she realized that even if she knew, her family and friends did not know so how could they help to make sure the important pieces are there? This ignited a spark that resonated with the other 40 participants and the discussion was rich.

Three days later I met up with this person and she couldn’t wait to show me the list she had created for her two daughters; she was sending this list to them along with an updated copy of her will.

Here is what she wrote to her daughters, Amy and Grace*:

The things I would like you to know if I can’t ask for them as I come to my dying.

Please play country music when appropriate. I like Victoria Banks, Tim McGraw, Georgia Florida Line, Zac Brown Band, Deric Ruttan and many others.

Please make sure I am as comfortable as possible: warm, pain freeand with mouth care.

Please read to me if I can’t read. I love books of any kind, but particularly murder mysteries, or forensic pathology stories such as those written by J.D. Robb, Faye Kellerman and Kathy Reichs.

If appropriate, I would like to participate in complementary therapies such as massage and therapeutic touch, such as Reiki. Meditation is also very important to me.

I have such an artistic family! If possible, I would love to have Nanna’s seascape, any of Poppa H’s sunset paintings and if there is room for it, my bronze Emperor Penguin Mother and Chick on the carrera marble base. This last piece represents the struggles I had with a person during a period of time and it was created out of much love.

If Caroline* is still in my life I would like to be able to see her. Please make sure that someone will look after her for the rest of her life.
Please don’t prolong my life if there is poor quality of life and a grave prognosis. Please also give me your permission to let go of life, otherwise I may be hanging on in order to look after you. I was born a caregiver, and will be a caregiver to the end, so please reassure me that you will be alright after I pass.

Please place Harley and Oscar’s urn into the niche with mine.

— Love Mom

We have no guarantee about what the end of our life will look like, or whether we will have an opportunity to have some control over it. That should not prevent us from spending time considering this and informing important people in our life of our request.

I believe this allows for the possibility of being in the kind of space that will be most helpful to our dying. It also gives us pause to reflect upon things that are important to us now in life.

Give it a try!

* all names have been changed to protect identity

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Foundation work complete!

Earlier this week workers completed pouring the rest of the concrete foundation for the new Care Centre. This is a significant milestone! Thanks to everyone for helping build your new community Hospice. [showhide type=”post”]

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The Strange Events of Grief

It was just one of those nights. He had to get out of the house. Oh, he understood that his adult children were just worried about him and that is why they doted on his every move. “Come on Dad – you have to eat – have more food… Dad, now you have to get things done while we are home with you… Let’s get things ready for Christmas while we can help” and the list went on and on. It was not that he did not appreciate their help, the truth is that if they were not there he probably would not eat at all or even think about Christmas. It was just that they kept him so busy that he did not have time to sit with the memory and grief of his wife of 43 years who died only three weeks ago.

So while they were busy with sorting her clothes in the closet – he slipped on his coat and boots, went outside, and set off for the woods behind the house. The air was cold and crisp and the skiff of snow that had fallen earlier that day crunched with every step he took. He took some deep breaths and the cold air filled his lungs. He had made his way along a path so well known to him that he did not even need to look down.

Marg and he had spent hours walking these trails in the woods behind their house, and with each step, the intensity and clarity of those times together grew until he sank to his knees unable to go any further.

It was never supposed to be like this. He had never imagined that she would go first and they often joked about him having to go first because he would not know anything about how to look after himself. But they didn’t get to choose and now here he was – it seemed like a nightmare.

portrait of a senior adult with gray beard in winter forest

He stayed on his knees for what seemed a very long time, his mind bouncing between the memories of her hand in his, her smile and smell, and the horror of those last days in the hospital where she looked so frail and weak. He could not stand it anymore, he cried out “Marg how could you leave me here like this, how am I ever going to do anything again.” The words spilt out and seemed to echo and reverberate through the trees.

Suddenly he was aware of a light in the trees above him. Not a bright spot of light, but a glow, like a star had decided to leave the sky and come close to the earth. He felt a warmth that he presumed was from the light but it seemed to embrace him outside and in. His anxious fear suddenly grew still and subsided and he felt a deep peace in his heart. He could not prove Marg was there, but he did not need to because he knew she was.

The quiet of the forest became even more so, he had never been in a place where he felt such peace. He could not have spoken even if he wanted to, and for the next few moments, he was still and never wanted to leave this place. It was as if she was speaking to him without voice, the words simply were there for him… “Jack I am safe, and so are you. Grief and sadness is the gift we get because we have loved so deeply. You will find your way – because I will always be there with you. You will talk about me and brag about our life together and it will be such a legacy to who we were and are.”

Then the light grew dim. The air took on its chill and the forest sounds came alive again. Jack stumbled to his feet, amazed at what had just happened. He looked around trying to understand these moments. Suddenly his eye caught something hanging in the tree branch just ahead of him. It sparkled and as he reached out to grasp it he realized it was a necklace, not just any necklace but the one that he had given her on their wedding day. Now he felt the chills run up and down his spine and the hair at the base of his neck stand up because Marg had been buried with this necklace on her.

How was he going to explain this to anyone? Then he heard or rather felt her voice deep within his heart, “you don’t have to explain to anyone, just live in what you know is true.”

Jack felt a huge weight lift. Oh, the sadness was still there, he missed holding Marg physically, but now came the deep assurance that she was with him no matter what happened and that gave him peace. His walk back to the house was different because he was different, hope now sat with grief in a new way that changed everything.

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Full footprint emerging

This afternoon workers continued to install the forms for pouring the remaining concrete foundation. You can really see the complete building footprint emerging (four times the square footage of the current Hospice building). We also hosted an open house this afternoon where the new design and floor plans for the two-level care centre were revealed. The photos below are facing south from London Street (the north elevation). Compare them to the updated drawing of the north elevation also below. Things are really moving again!  [showhide type=”post”]

 

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Foundation work starting up again

With the permit recently approved to continue building the new foundation, workers were at the site this morning laying the concrete forms for the Heeney House community programming area.  [showhide type=”post”]

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Gravel inlay for Hospice Residence

This morning on my way to work I photographed this team placing and flattening gravel in-between the concrete foundation walls for the new Hospice Residence. In the photo below, the excavator is where the private garden will be. Where the men are standing is where a row of six  private bedrooms will be with windows overlooking the garden. Behind the excavator will be a small deck and door large enough for a bed to roll through so that anyone can enjoy the garden. The remaining four private bedrooms (including one larger bedroom designed for pediatric care) will overlook the trees at the back of the photo. [showhide type=”post”]

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